In the tapestry of human experiences, few threads are as poignant and complex as those of women who find themselves separated from their children. Whether due to the ravages of war and persecution, the shadows of mental health struggles, the bars of incarceration, or other heart-breaking circumstances, these women embody an often-overlooked narrative of resilience, courage, and unwavering love. Their stories also brim with the hope and steadfastness that define the human spirit.
I remember it like it was yesterday. It is the evening of July of 2008, and I am forced to flee my country, Rwanda, because of persecution, leaving behind my twelve-year-old daughter, her four siblings, and my husband. Not talking to my children for a year and not seeing them for almost two years was painful and devastating.
As a woman of faith, two weapons that helped me to survive those painful moments were prayer and trusting in God’s power to reunite us. Here is the prayer I said over and over: “Heavenly Father, my husband is yours before being mine, and my children are yours before being mine. Remove all the obstacles and undo all knots so we can be all together again.”
April 10th, 2010, was God’s day, and I was reunited with my husband and children!
As we seek to understand and support these brave souls navigating separation, it is vital to recognize the unique challenges they face. The pain of separation can be a constant ache, a silent grief, and a life full of shame. Amidst this profound sorrow, many of these women continue to fight, to hope, and to love, demonstrating incredible strength.
Three Recommendations to Women Enduring the Pain of Separation from Their Children
1. Hold Onto Hope and Faith
Your faith can be a beacon of light in the darkest of times. Lean on your beliefs and the teachings of Christ, who exemplified love, forgiveness, and renewal. Let your faith remind you that despite the current separation, there is hope for reconciliation and healing.
Forgiveness liberated me and kept me moving. Even if I cannot talk to the people who made me flee my country (some are deceased, others are still alive), I publicly forgave all of them.
2. Seek and Embrace Support
It’s crucial to remember that you’re not alone in your journey. Reach out to family, friends, faith groups, or professional counselors who can offer emotional support and guidance. Within the Christian community, you can find a family bound not just by blood but by unconditional love and understanding.
My first request to the case manager who welcomed me at the airport in Knoxville, TN, was to connect me to a Catholic Church nearby. I developed strong relationships at Holy Ghost Church. It was full of friends at my son’s wedding five years ago.
3. Focus on Personal Growth and Healing
Use this period to reflect, heal, and grow. Engage in activities that nurture your soul and well-being, such as prayer, meditation, or joining a church or faith-based group.
Three Ways the Christian Community Can Extend a Hand of Friendship and Solidarity
1. Prayer and Spiritual Support
Offering prayers for these women and their children can bring them comfort and a sense of community. Churches can organize prayer groups to pray for separated families, reminding these women that they are not alone in their struggles.
2. Community Involvement and Support Services
Churches and Christian organizations can organize support groups, legal aid assistance, and counseling services for women dealing with the trauma of separation. Churches can partner with local organizations to provide resources or establish funds to assist with these needs.
3. Education and Awareness Campaigns
Promoting awareness about the issues leading to such separations, including the challenges faced by women in jail, can foster empathy and community action. Educational programs can also empower these women with knowledge and skills for a better future.
Many of my friends became advocates of refugees and immigrants because of the stories we continue to share.
In these acts of support and kindness, we not only help these women but also live out the teachings of Christ, who called us to love and serve those in need. Let us, therefore, reach out with open hearts and hands, ready to support these courageous women and their children on their journey toward healing and reunification.
About Drocella Mugorewera
A testament to enduring courage and resilience, The Diversity Trust Builder, and former Rwandan Parliamentarian, Drocella Mugorewera, is #1 International bestselling author, Founder of the Diversity in Action Global Movement supporting C suite corporate decision-makers to increase productivity and profits by up to 50%. An Executive Consultant and international speaker, Drocella enhances events with her powerful story of optimizing adversity and cultivating inclusive practices. Drocella is an Ambassador of the American Refugee Private Sponsorship Program.
