by Content Warning: This blog contains references to child abuse.
Peace for cities is when everything works for everybody all the time, and no one is left out. Peace is God’s goal for our cities.
H.P. Spees
Over ten years ago, I started the journey of becoming an ordained pastor. I read Pastor: The Theology and Practice of Ordained Ministry by William H. Willimon as part of the process. The book spoke about how healing was a pinnacle point of pastoral care prior to the Enlightenment (when faith and reasoning collided). Post-Enlightenment caused healing to take on a more secular form, as people sought healing from other sources outside the church. This caused pastors to feel a loss of authority as healing became separated from the ecclesiastical roots of the church.
I experienced this firsthand as I watched pastors dismiss individuals who struggled with mental health because of their lack of training. The focus became only on getting people to Jesus rather than also getting to the root of what had happened that caused the behavior.
When traumatic experiences happen, having faith that things will get better without processing what happened does not lead to healing. Trauma can lead to mental disorders, and when it goes undiagnosed and untreated, it causes people to seek healing in whatever way they can. This leaves people vulnerable and isolated.
The church is supposed to be a place of refuge and healing, but for many individuals, the church has caused pain and suffering. Myself included. When the Lord began stirring in my heart compassion for those who struggled with mental health, little did I know that I was struggling myself.
Slowing Down to Feel
I started trauma healing training in June of 2023 so I could become more equipped to advocate for and support those struggling with mental health. Through this process, the Lord revealed 40 years of unhealed trauma that I had stored up in my body. Because I did not abuse drugs or alcohol, I thought I was doing pretty well until the Lord had me slow down.
I went from working 60+ hours a week to 40 and taking time to start my day with alone time with God. When I began to slow down, so did my body, and that wasn’t good. As my body slowed down, depression, anxiety, fear, hopelessness, and doubt started flooding in. I became overwhelmed.
Events of my past replayed in my mind, and I couldn’t stop them. All the horrible things that I had experienced started invading my thoughts left and right. So I did what any good Christian would do: I buried myself in the Bible and stayed active within the church. Not to say that spending more time with the Lord is bad, but flooding myself with Scripture wasn’t helping me uncover what was lying deep underneath the surface. Until I began to plug myself into other training, I didn’t realize I was having an identity crisis.
As a woman of color with five children who are half African American, knowing our identity is huge. Genesis 1:26 says, “So God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them: male and female he created them.”
Imago Dei. God has made us all in His image. He has given each of us our own identity, talents, purpose, and path to fulfill the plans of the Lord. When sin entered the world, things shifted, and the battle between good and evil began. This battle not only rages on in the spiritual realm but also between flesh and blood.
Jesus says in John 16:23, “I have said this to you, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you face persecution. But take courage; I have conquered the world.”
Identifying The Hidden Wounds
At the age of nine, my identity was stripped from me when I was forced to live in a community that did not accept me as a young Black girl. I was forced to change who I was to fit the norms of the world. I was beaten until I conformed to the ways of the child my mother wanted me to be. For over 40 years, I tried to fit the mold that was set before me since the age of nine. This caused a great shift.
When our mind and body are not at peace, it affects our whole demeanor. How we interact with one another. How we respond to situations, our ability to love ourselves, others, and receive love.
The Lord designed our bodies so beautifully. When the body experiences trauma, it shuts down to protect itself from further harm while it goes through the natural process of healing itself. Sometimes it may need a little help in the form of medicine to kickstart the healing process. When the body does not receive the proper care to heal itself, things begin to deteriorate. This is easy to spot when the wound occurs on the outside of the body, but not so much when it’s internal.
As much as we strive and fight for peace, the enemy fights even harder to disturb that peace. Disturbances not only affect us, but they affect our family, community, and our world. My physical wounds healed years ago, but the wounds of the heart have lasted far longer because they went unnoticed.
Experiencing Peace in Community
When I realized that we were all made in the image of God and that the plans He has for me are not to harm me but to give me a future and hope, it changed my world. Since I struggled with my identity, I began surrounding myself with people who looked like me, talked like me, dressed like me, and loved to worship the Lord like me. I connected with people who cared enough to let me be my authentic self while I was figuring things out.
Finally, I was free! I could taste and see the goodness of God in my life that I had been singing about for years but never fully experienced. You can’t keep this freedom to yourself. Now, I want to see others truly free from the strongholds that have held them captive within the mind.
God has asked all of us to set the captive free. For many of us, that begins with the renewing of our minds. We will always have pain and suffering, but when we are able to take that pain and suffering to Jesus, who heals all our sicknesses and diseases, then we are able to receive peace within that transcends all understanding. This peace (the shalom of God) is what Christian Community Development is all about.
Individual Peace and Community Thriving
Just like evaluating the assets of a community for transformation takes time, so does the healing process of those who have gone through a traumatic experience. I couldn’t be who the Lord created me to be until I experienced healing from past wounds.
If you notice yourself responding in a certain way to situations, ask the Lord to reveal why you respond that way. When I watched TV shows of men adopting young girls, I would cringe and get angry. The Lord revealed that I was still wounded from being abused as a child. That started another journey of healing that I thought I had forgotten.
Understanding why we react and do the things we do is important for our healing process. Just as important is people asking questions rather than making assumptions about our actions. You don’t know what you don’t know until you take the time to sit and listen. Therefore, a community cannot be transformed until everyone in the community is thriving.
This brings me back to the quote I shared at the beginning of this post. “Peace for cities is when everything works for everybody all the time, and no one is left out. Peace is God’s goal for our cities.” – H.P. Spees
Closing Prayer
Father God, thank you for your promise to never leave us nor forsake us. Lord, because we live in a world filled with all kinds of evil, we know there will always be pain and suffering that causes trauma to our minds and bodies. Though we cannot change or escape these traumatic experiences, we can change how we respond to them.
Lord, Psalm 34:8 says, “O taste and see that the Lord is good; happy are those who take refuge in him.” I want to experience peace from within that transcends all understanding. I want to be transformed by the renewing of my mind.
Lord, teach me how to bring my pain and suffering to you instead of holding it all inside. I don’t want to be stuck in the past; I want to be freed to experience what you have for me. Lord, search my body and begin to reveal any unhealed wounds. Expose them, Lord, so you can begin to heal them.
In the name of Jesus, I pray.
Amen
About Marcella Rivera
Marcella Rivera is an Executive Assistant in Community and Leader Development at Building Hope in the City. She joined the organization in 2022 and has many years of organizational and administrative experience across an array of organizations. Marcella has a heart for serving marginalized communities in Cleveland through trauma healing.
