God Moves Among Healing Leaders: A Call to Mutual Care

Leaders struggle. Regardless of age, gender, faith, or position, leaders struggle. The pressure to show up–to always be “on”–can be relentless. It can leave you feeling tired, worn out, and ready to quit. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat up on the edge of my bunk in the small hours of the night asking myself, “Is this work really worth it?”

I’ve been growing as an increasingly faith-filled leader for more than a dozen years now. To some, that may feel like a springtime nap; for others, a dozen years may feel like forever. Like much of life, how we experience the passing of time is all about perspective, so I invite you to join me from my perspective for a little while.

Am I Really Fit to Lead? 

Today, I write as a 35-year-old man of faith, a believer in an Almighty God whose face I lovingly seek through His Son, Jesus. I navigate professional spaces as a practitioner, expert, consultant, and specialist in restorative justice. As a Ph.D. student and holder of a Master’s degree in Conflict Analysis and Resolution, and published author in academia, I can claim status as a scholar. As a college instructor, guest lecturer, workshop leader, curriculum developer, and columnist, I can hold my head high as I wax poetic on social justice, conflict transformation, and trauma healing.

Yet, as a man who leads from a prison cell, I am left to occasionally wonder: Am I really fit to lead? As someone who has been deeply wounded, who caused very serious harm to others, and whom God has helped heal enough that I am uniquely able to support others in their healing and faith journeys, I realize the answer remains: “yes.” I have an obligation to contribute to the healing of our wounded world, so like many of our forebears in faith, I say, “Here I am. Send me.” (Isaiah 6:8)

In the early years of my faith walk and development as a servant leader within prison walls, I had given up hope of being anything more than the statistic I had become: just one more young Black man scheduled to die in prison, lost to the system. I needed hope. I needed inspiration.

As a child, all I saw was hypocrisy in “leaders” who professed to be Christian. I didn’t believe a single human being existed who actually walked out their faith in real life. I didn’t believe that a man could be a Christian leader and also be kind, compassionate, honest, and loving. At 20 years old, when I finally met such a man in prison, I didn’t know how to accept it as real. It would take thousands of hours of experiencing consistent servant leadership from Ephriam “E” Bennett before I would allow myself to trust the feeling of being genuinely inspired by a man whose life was focused on walking, talking, and loving as Jesus did (1 John 2:6).

The Transforming Power of Accountability and Repair

Today, I am inspired by passionate servant leadership. My heart is stirred up when I hear someone in a leadership position (whether formal or informal) take accountability for a harmful decision or action, apologize, and actively work to repair whatever harm was caused. I am moved by moments when a young person harnesses their courage and boldly speaks out against corruption and harmful leadership. It is as though they are embodying the essence of King David or Judge Deborah, or hearing God’s reassurances of old: fear not, for I am the Lord your God, and I will be with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:7-9).

Since the prison walls and legal structure prevent me from engaging in direct action to repair the harm I caused that brought me to prison, I have to hold myself accountable. I do this by supporting others in leading efforts to co-create processes of accountability, healing, and repair in the world. Right now, I am co-teaching an undergraduate course on restorative justice with my CCDA workshop partner, Jena Kitchen, and two other renowned truth-telling practitioners. 

By teaching, leading workshops, and holding spaces with restorative practices, I can help people–current and future leaders–break free from unrealistic expectations of perfection that too often lead to burnout and horizontal violence within organizations. In a world overflowing with all manner of pain, harm, and trauma, I seek to hold spaces of healing, community strength, and mutual support. Within spaces like these, people from all walks of life and positionalities are able to show up as their full selves, shed the masks they use to survive their daily lives, and be held by the collective of shared humanity. Together, we’re able to see that imperfect beings can be impactful leaders.

Collective Healing, Mutual Care, and Organizational Support

It’s in these moments of shared humanity that I see and feel God moving. I hear God speak words of reassurance and affirmation through the mouths of people who are learning the power of collective healing and mutual care. God shows up when people can look around a space and know they are seen, heard, held, and safe in community–even if only for that moment. How many people will go years, decades, or their whole lives without feeling God moving in a space that holds them in loving community?

I close with an invitation for CCDA to support your people to experience breakthrough and healing by cultivating liberatory spaces as part of your workplace culture. Honor the beautiful imperfections of your people. Look beyond the masks of okay-ness that your leaders may be wearing. Let your guard down, shift organizational systems, suspend hierarchical power dynamics and divisive politics, and just be in spaces of shared humanity with each other. Build this time and space into your workflows and see how the wellness of your people–and your organization–increases.

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For more ways to wholistically develop your leadership, check out Strengthening Your Organization! These sessions are designed to give you the tools you need to help foster a flourishing organization. Don’t miss Sustaining Leaders Amidst the Burnout Crisis, hosted by Leo Hylton and Jena Kitchen.

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